Most of us understand that it is only through some struggle that children learn and grow.
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
If you protect them from too much they are unable to develop strength and judgement of their own.
I think it is harder to remember this if your child has an extra layer of suffering in their life.
As a parent I can’t take away her pain. So maybe I am a little too keen to step in to remove discomfort when I am able.
Parenting is hard. Parenting a child in chronic pain is even harder. There is such a temptation to try to make up for all the pain.
So I have had to learn to ask my daughter to do her house jobs even though she is in pain. Like any normal teenager she won’t want to do them. Like any normal teenage parent it is my job to insist.
It all sounds so obvious now but I have found this difficult to get clear along the way.
I’ve also learnt that the best person to solve my daughters problems is my daughter. We might listen and make recommendations but she is the one solving the mystery of her own life.
Photo courtesy of zenera at Flickr Creative Commons.