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	<title>Joint Pain Relief &#187; mothers</title>
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	<link>http://jointpainrelief.com.au</link>
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		<title>The Mother of All Jobs</title>
		<link>http://jointpainrelief.com.au/the-mother-of-all-jobs/</link>
		<comments>http://jointpainrelief.com.au/the-mother-of-all-jobs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Jul 2009 06:54:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rona Chiera</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Managing Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jointpainrelief.com.au/?p=184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As mothers we can fall into a pattern of trying to please or appease others. Maybe we learnt this from our mothers. I think this pattern can be especially true for the hard working home based mother. If your child has a complex medical condition your list of people to please might go something like [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_185" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 214px"><a href="http://jointpainrelief.com.au/files/2591736125_7657672120_m.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-185" src="http://jointpainrelief.com.au/files/2591736125_7657672120_m.jpg" alt="Are you juggling too much?" width="204" height="240" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Are you juggling too much?</p></div>
<p>As mothers we can fall into a pattern of trying to please or appease others. Maybe we learnt this from our mothers.</p>
<p>I think this pattern can be especially true for the hard working home based mother.</p>
<p>If your child has a complex medical condition your list of people to please might go something like this.</p>
<ul>
<li>Husband</li>
<li>Kids</li>
<li>School</li>
<li>Specialist</li>
<li>Physio</li>
<li>OT</li>
<li>Podiatrist</li>
<li>GP</li>
<li>Immunologist</li>
<li>Psychologist</li>
</ul>
<p>I also expect myself to perform to a fairly high standard in my part-time work, looking after the house, my voluntary work, my extended family and in my friendships.</p>
<p>It is not hard to see why it gets way too hard to be getting it right on so many fronts.  I&#8217;ve been there and I am meeting other mothers at hydro who admit that they have been doing the same.  It is a one way ticket to a break down.</p>
<blockquote><p>The solution is to break down and admit two things.  The first is that you are trying to do too much.  The second is that <em><strong>you</strong></em> <em><strong>need help</strong></em>.</p></blockquote>
<p>Do not attend your next appointment unless you have a support person with you.  Go to that appointment with the list of roles you are trying to fill.</p>
<p>Ask for help from your specialist to put a pain management plan in place that co-ordinates all your great team.</p>
<p>The earlier you admit that you need help the sooner the problem becomes more manageable&#8230;and the sooner the joy comes back into your life.</p>
<p>I am also learning that we are in this for the long haul.  For my efforts to be sustainable  I need to learn to get my name to the top of the list of people to please.</p>
<p><em>Juggling photo courtesy of </em><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/teducation/"><em>madaboutasia</em></a><em> at Flickr Creative Commons</em>.</p>
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