When my daughter is in pain I sometimes feel really helpless.

I keep really wanting to DO SOMETHING to change things.

I wish I’d kept a list of things I’ve bought to try to help.

In this anxious state I forget the powerful inexpensive tools I do have.

The most significant of these tools is listening and letting my daughter feel heard.

I believe that listening has the power to ease suffering.

People pay a lot of money to strangers just for the relief of really being heard.

It doesn’t alter the physical pain but it does make the sufferer feel less alone.

It makes a big difference to how kids feel when they know someone really gets how they feel. They feel accepted as they are.

We often think we are listening but most of us don’t really know how to listen in a way that is healing.

Reflective listening is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced with care.

It means that for a time we set aside our own agendas and let hearing the other person be the most important thing.

We feed back to the person what we have heard. Maybe the exact words, maybe a careful summary.

Good listening happens so rarely that when it does happen it has a big impact on the other.

Within the family it is big powerful medicine.

It is also hard work. Listening well takes concentration and practice. I can’t do it very well when I am tired.

Sometimes I don’t listen well for ages – but when I do I see how it has the power to transform experiences and bring people I love together.

The two books on listening that have helped me most are listed here.

Both of these books have been around for ages and it is very likely you can hunt them down at your library.

I’ve also listed them as a click on link to Amazon Books if you want to check them out right now.

People Skills by Robert Bolton

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

Last year my daughter decided to have herself tested for food intolerance.

She was suffering high levels of chronic pain and major fatigue. She was living on painkillers and life was a bit grim.

The testing revealed eight foods that she reacted to.  She chose to remove these foods from her diet.

This is hard work as two of the problem foods identified were wheat and diary. (Let me tell you that keeping up calcium when you take out dairy is an artform..)

The results were dramatic. Within days she started to look better. Within weeks she was pain free. This was no something I thought was possible.

As a Mum standing on the side line watching this process I was left in no doubt that food was playing a role in our daughter’s condition.

Now and then she will eat something off the hit list. This is useful as she is able to feel the effects and prove to herself that this is something real.

It is possible we might have just hit a good patch. It is also possible that come winter life will be tough again.

However, for my money ($385AUS to be exact) the testing was worth it.

The specific test is called a IgG Food Sensitvity Profile – it investigates how samples of 93 foods interact a with sample of the patients blood.

The test needs to be prescribed by an authorised practitioner and Healthscope can advise you of who is available in your area.

This is a link to the page on Healthscope’s website that describes the test.
Food Sensitivity Testing.

So can food intolerance influence joint pain? I don’t know for sure. Every child is different.

However I can say that if you are running out of options this might be one worth considering.

PS My daughter was pain free for three months after changing her diet. She then caught a major virus and some pain came back. She is keeping to the new diet – convinced it has played a role. It is disappointing to be back in the zone after such a fantastic period of recovery – hopefully this will pass soon. I’ll keep you posted.

Jan 2012 My daughter is on no pain medication for a couple of months. While she might have some pain now and then it is no longer the big issue that it was for so many years. She still struggles with fatigue. It does seem that the longer she is off the food she is intolerant to the more she is clearly sick when she eats it. Almost immediately she will get very hot and feel unwell.