I love a song by writer Fred Smith that has a chorus line, “because I am imperfect”. *
I think those lines help me when I am not always the Mother I want to be.
As the Mum of a young person with chronic pain I have times when I am really there as a patient and kind Mum.
At other times I run out of energy, patience, brain space or mother juice and I feel OVER IT. My daughter and I jokingly refer to the character I become at these times as Dragon Woman.
Kids with joint pain tend not to do things in a hurry. Getting out of bed hurts and getting dressed hurts. Getting moving hurts. It is easy to understand why they would want to take things slowly.
You can’t just jump in the car and get to places quickly. Once you are there you can’t just walk fast either. Even getting out to the car takes time.
Watching your child suffer is THE worst thing. After that I’d have to say doing things slowly comes second for me.
I like doing things on the spur of the moment. I like deciding to see a film that starts in twenty minutes. I like being on time, I even like being early. Moving slowly does not come easy for me.
I am learning to notice the times when I am the Mum I want to be. I am learning to plan so that there is adequate time to do things and I can be that person for more of the time.
I am also learning to forgive myself when I do get impatient. I am an ordinary Mum and at times I am imperfect.
At other times, just like ALL us ordinary Mums, I can also be remarkable.
It is through the embracing of our own ordinary challenges that the extraordinary becomes possible.
*Imperfect is off the album LoveThongs by Fred Smith and Liz Fencham.
